I’m Only Happy Because I’m 6’8″

September 15, 2008

So there’s this article that says Taller People are Happier.

I have to admit that I am a generally happy guy. I never tied it to my height, but I’m willing to go along with it. I assume it’s because up in this altitude my brain is starved of oxygen. That or because I have so much sex with my wife. I also can see the lead singer of the band no matter where I am in the crowd. So many reasons to be happy…most of them tied to my height. Okay, maybe not the sex thing.

I do get really sad when I have to buy all of my clothes from the J.C. Penny’s big and tall men’s catalogue. I wish they’d just come clean and title it “DORK CLOTHING INC.” Come on idiots at J.C. Penny’s, I’m freaking 6’8″ so why would I want red plaid slacks?! I’d look like a Scottish clown who played golf.

Anyways, other than the J.C. Penny’s catalogue thing I guess I’m pretty happy.


32 Responses to “I’m Only Happy Because I’m 6’8″”

  1. Nev Says:

    Dude, try being 5’8” for a few weeks and you just might change your tune. Being tall is an accomplishment, being short is an embarrassment. I must say that I was a lot happier when I was in LA than down here because people seemed to be a lot shorter there, so I felt taller in comparison.

    Or maybe it was because I was on vacation when I was in LA and I spent the entire time visiting theme parks and not thinking about work.

    I think it must’ve been the height thing.

  2. Nev Says:

    Oh wow, I’ve got a math degree and I don’t understand this graph.

  3. tennapel Says:

    Nev, 5’8″ is considered a normal-to-tall height. You probably only feel short in Kiwi-land because they still have living trolls, ogres and umberhulks walking around over there eating children and sheep.

  4. lemm Says:

    I’m 5 foot 3! That’s short.

    I’m convinced people don’t see me. I scared a guy a few weeks back, when I wanted to get out of the train. He had an expression on his face as if he’s seen a ghost…
    Then again I was having an exceptionally bad hair day, too.

  5. tennapel Says:

    Lemm, I’ve been meaning to tell you…that you died three years ago.

  6. Ryan Says:

    But I saw her at Comic Con!

    …Does this mean I have to help her with her unfinished business?

  7. Braam K Says:

    Hehe, Lemm must’ve looked like a red headed grudge

  8. lemm Says:

    Red headed grunge? What’s one of those? No…I don’t go in for that. I do like red though. It’s my favourite colour. :)

    Darn…that would explain a lot!

    How am I even typing this? o___O

  9. Jared Says:

    How did Bruce Willis get a job being a therapist for a kid when he was dead? Just go with it. :)

  10. Braam K Says:

    I was revering to that movie ‘The grudge’ with the creepy japanese woman that made the croaky sounds.

  11. lemm Says:

    Oh right…o___o

    No…you’d just get a rather confused brunette English woman falling out of your TV set…then again, that’s probably more scary.

  12. TM Says:

    I feel ya Nev, 5’9″ myself, and I’m always the shortest guy in the room. Stupid tall people, lording their height over me! I get it already, no need to say “Who said that?” every time I try to get your attention! This is why all those evil genius types are under 5’5″.

  13. Mac Says:

    I hit my head a lot…which is not comfortable and probably results in my somewhat slanted political views.

    Someone of greater knowledge and depth than mine is George Will. A rock steady Conservative and a man well acquainted with scripture. Here is his most recent column.


  14. Minimog Says:

    Awww, I think I’m the shortest one here (again!)

    You think 5’8″ is short? I’d love to be that tall, I’m barely 5’2″!

    People never seem to see me so people bump into me alot and mistake me for a child anywhere between the age of 12 and 15 – but it probably doesn’t help that I’m also really skinny.

    Being short does have one advantage though – clothes and shoes are quite cheap when you buy them from the children’s section! lol!

  15. Azz Says:

    Maaan…where are all the posts about the election??? Come on Mr T you should be trumpeting the party line. Where’s the love?

  16. TenNapel Says:

    I’d rather work than debate. I’m half way through a comic that’s slaughtering me. Besides, you already know how I’m a McCain/Palin guy.

  17. Ricardo Cantoral Says:

    Minimog: It calls comes down to different levels of satisfaction for everyone. Some people can’t be tall enough, short enough, or they are just plain satisfied with their height. Personally I think I am kind of short and I am little over 5’10”. I’d love to be 6’2″.

    TenNapel: I have a question regarding Bush for you. Do you think he is a socialist ? The Government is buying out businesses in this country and CEOs are making millions off of it. Even Hugo Chavez called Bush a hard core leftist. Also this might not matter much but I am not for either canidate.

  18. tennapel Says:

    I don’t think Bush is a Socialist, but it certainly was a big government move to artificially float a market that needed to correct itself. Now that the government inserted it’s big snout into the market we don’t know what ANYTHING is worth because it wasn’t allowed to find a bottom.

    I don’t have a problem with CEOs making billions of dollars, I never thought the bail out needed to include a punishment of CEOs. In fact, the CEOs are doing what they’re supposed to do, make as much money as the free market will allow. It was about to self correct (with a collapse due to incompetence and greed) and the government came in and screwed that up nannie-style too.

    Hugo Chavez is a pig who will do or say anything to discredit Bush and make room for a REAL leftist in office.

  19. Ricardo Cantoral Says:

    No I don’t have a problem with CEO’s making money either but in this case, I find it very uncomfortable how they are making it. Anyway, thanks for your thoughts.

  20. Christiana the Brit Says:

    All this talk of height reminds me of a funny event during my college days: Some friends and I were at a London pub when John, age 23 and 5ft 3, turns up late. He goes to get a drink from the bar and the barman refuses to serve him until he sees proof of age. Jon goes red in the face and loudly insists that he is above the minimum age for drinking. The barman stands his ground and refuses to serve John who, thoroughly annoyed, exits the bar swearing profusely. He returns twenty minutes later with his passport and thrusts his date of birth at the barman. The barman apologises and asks John what he wants to drink and John replies: “Orange juice, please”…!

  21. dunepanda Says:

    Height and happiness.
    I’m a woman, so maybe it doesn’t count, but I’m the eldest child and the shortest. I was always the shortest of all my friends. I hit 5’2″ in 8th grade and stayed there. My mother was taller by an inch. My Swiss immigrant grandparents actually built their house with doors and cabinets with lower doorknobs. My Swiss-American aunts and uncles are less than 5’5″ (females) and 5’7″ (males). But THEIR male children are all at least 6’2″ and more. My husband is 6′. My son is 6’3″ and was sick for a few years as a child or the pediatrician says he most probably would’ve been 6’6″.
    However, I live near the Mexican border, and when I go to the border town, I am taller than many of the other adults, especially adults my age and older.
    Born in the 50’s.
    I threatened Steve the Dude Rude 20 years ago that I was going to hurt him the next time he greeted me by patting me on the head when asking how I was doing. (He’s only 6’6″, you know.) I found it insulting and invasive.

  22. dunepanda Says:

    dunepanda here again. What I was hoping to learn was if Viacom had any plans to release Catscratch on DVD, all Catscratch, not NickPicks. I hate how Nick East and West has barely anything decent to watch anymore. Only FOP and the occasional Spongebob episode that I haven’t seen.

    It took me forever to figure out how one registers for Doug Tennapel’s forums. There’s a login and FAQ, but no direction to where to register or way to contact either a webmaster or administrator.

    I kept doing searches on dogpile.com (which is making donations to animal rescue programs for every search conducted on it, says the eccentric old lady who currently has 8 rescued dogs (down from 12) and 3 rescued cats, until I found WordPress…

    I live in the farming portion of the most Southeastern corner of irrigated California desert which until very recently had only dial-up internet coonections available to rural dwellers through old analog phone lines that date back to “party lines” when you shared your line with a number of other families. My dad’s family has had a farm here since 1940 so I have plenty of room for the abandoned animals that people dump.

  23. C@rl@ ten Napel Says:

    Hello Doug,

    I have tried to log in to your forum, but it didn’t work. So therefore a message here.
    We have the same last name, ten Napel. I am very into familytrees, so perhaps you want to tell me who your parents and/or your greatparents are. Perhaps I can link us as family with the familytree known to me.

    With regards,
    C@rl@ ten Napel (from the Netherlands)

  24. Todd Says:

    so I wonder what his thoughts are now that his McPalin post backfired?

  25. tennapel Says:

    How did it backfire?

  26. The First time I saw Doug at the San Diego Comic-Con 06, I was expecting him to be about my height (5’10) or a just a few inches taller. But no sir he’s tall, I was like googoo eyes just looking at him. I respect any person of any height wether they are a Hobbit or a Giant. Besides a person is a person no matter how small. Doug keep suprising me and rest of the fans at no more tangerines.

  27. rovert Says:

    Amen, brother!! I’ve always felt the motto for Big and Tall clothing should be ” It’s ugly, but you’ll buy it because it fits, and we really don’t care that much anyway.” I’m only 6’5″ and I can, if the wind blows the right way, shop more or less off the rack.

  28. “I’m freaking 6′8″ so why would I want red plaid slacks?! I’d look like a Scottish clown who played golf. ”

    I’m not sure why but that really made me laugh! I can’t believe your so tall. I wish i was taller. OOoh well.

  29. Jim Carlson Says:

    Doug, It’s been a long time! I used to work with you at Wendy’s in Turlock, California years ago. I was Friends with Randy Reinhardt and have met your brother Jim before he moved from Turlock. I still remember you always hitting your head on the stainless vent above the grill when we worked the grill area together. You would do those funny impressions of E.T. and stretch your neck out. I laughed so hard. I’m so glad things are going well for you and your wife. I knew you would get into comedy, but I thought it would be in stand-up. God has given you the gift of artistry and laughter and you are running with it..you still crack me up! I just thought of you tonight as I was thinking of old friends, searched up you on Google, and there you were. Love the part about the oversized Scottish pants. I hope I’ve jogged your memory and look forward to a note from you sometime. P.S. I’m currently working at T.I.D. as a meter reader, been there about 21 years. Enjoy life, buddy! Jim

  30. tennapel Says:

    Jim! I remember you! We worked there in 1983! I didn’t know your last name was Carlson so how was I supposed to find you? I remember having to wear those doofy hats that looked like we mugged J.J. Walker.

    T.I.D. is a good job. My buddy Tim Erickson worked that gig for a few years I think. It’s that or Foster Farms I suppose. Get on my Facebook page or join the forum on the website and we’ll get some email going.

  31. Alex Says:

    I’m 6’8″ as well and it does rock. Ive never thought of it as a source of my happiness but i am generally happy. It does suck getting asked every single day how tall i am though. HIGH FIVE.

  32. Meg Says:

    Ok, so this is probably a dumb idea but I’m desperately trying to find “The Neverhood” for my Autistic son. We were introduced to it by a friend about ten years ago. Unfortunately my son was 4 at that time. Just recently I was told that Autistic children are extremely responsive to it and I remembered it. I can only find it online as “Used” and the couple I have purchased were both in very bad shape and didn’t work properly. Is there any way to find a new copy to purchase? I read that there was another similar program “Skullmonkeys” I think was the name. I would be willing to try either of these. I’m desperate. Any suggestions?

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