Terrible Dad Award

April 15, 2010

It’s official, I just got the terrible dad award. I went for a jog today (5 miles) and had to take a shower afterwards but my Beloved went for her run at the same time… leaving me in charge of our four kids. My youngest son likes to take showers any time I take one so he jumped on in. After the shower we dried off and I got dressed… but I forgot to put a diaper on Johnny.

I know, I know, I should have remembered to put a diaper on him and get dressed but what went through my mind was, “Go downstairs and get some work done.” Angie came home from her run I hear her upstairs, “Johnny, where is your diaper?” I get the medal and everything. It’s made of petrified cow pie and has an image of a 3rd world father whipping his son with a mammoth tusk. Since the beginning of civilized family the Terrible Dad Award has been passed around from family to family every time a dad fails at being a mom.

Today is my day. Here’s my medal. Some other clown who is texting during his daughter’s first ballet performance will have to wear this thing tomorrow.


12 Responses to “Terrible Dad Award”

  1. Damon Says:

    someone texting while your young daughter danced?! why that sonna va… No respect man! Don’t worry, all good fathers are forgetful and everyone has their own flaws…Too bad I have so many because of a atisum. :I At least I’m silly…

  2. ben Says:

    You didn’t even put the kids clothes on? Ah, well…you do live in California. ;)

  3. Kathy Fullerton Says:

    Ha. Love it. Confirms that you are truly male. BTW, just heard a funny bit on the radio about “nacations” they are like vacations or staycations, but it is a vacation where you are at nudist colony. Perhaps forgetting the diaper is your first step towards a nacation for the family. Look on the bright side of things. : )

  4. Chris Says:

    That’s nothing I once dropped my wife and kids off at a busy restaurant and then raced three blocks away to find a parking spot. Parked the
    car and ran back to the restaurant. As I enter my wife, standing amid a sea of patrons asks me where my youngest son is? He’d fallen asleep and I’d told her I’d bring him in only in all the excitement I’d left him in the car. The waiting area grew cold and quiet, the women all throwing daggers at me, the men giving me that look of “oh man you are in trouble.”. I turned and ran back to the car (son awake and solomnly looking out the window) and by the time
    I got back the award was waiting.

  5. Ben (Benmanben) Says:

    It isn’t that bad. Don’t worry.

  6. Ben (Benmanben) Says:

    On Twitter you said you were pitching something? What is it?

  7. Ramel Hill Says:

    Well as a Dad of two kids, i have been there and feel you man! Great post!

  8. tuan Says:

    there must be something that i’m not getting… no offence, but that was boring and unfunny.

  9. Corinna Stevens Says:


    I am looking for the Doug that used to know Bobby Uher? I knew Bobby years ago… and his friend Doug. Are you the same Doug? I was doing a net search for Bobby and it looks like he may have passed away? If you know what I am talking about… Please email me back.

    Corinna Stevens-
    I went by Renee Wade…. oh so many years ago…

  10. I know it’s not your style, but I would love to see these stories illustrated!

  11. Noah Says:

    I’ve worn that thing…over and over and over again. As you can see Doug, you’re not alone! ;)

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