The God Bomb

December 21, 2010

I love Christmas. That said, the presents are a bit of a burden. Who to buy for? What to buy? And all of that waste. I get presents that I don’t particularly need or enjoy. But the spirit of the holiday still comes through and I love it.

God is a radical story teller. He’s odd, and he should be. Given we float down a culture of poo it only makes sense that something not-of-this-culture would come off as alien, unbelievable… weird.

Christmas is the event that changed everything. God provides this great gift that is so unbelievable that it even shakes the foundations of the faithful. I think of it as The God Bomb. It’s where supernature touches a starving mankind, dead in our skepticism, demanding a gift that we want but being denied that want to be given what we need. It hit the earth like a bomb, and cannot be reversed once set in motion.

The anti-Christmas crowd, the non believer and the pagan join in the celebration by acknowledging the threat of this gift. When people degrade the gift of Jesus my faith is only strengthened because it inadvertently testifies that something profound has happened. Kwanza is stupid, and you’ll never hear me tell someone they shouldn’t celebrate it. I say, “Kwanza all day and night! Do the Kwanza like there’s no tomorrow!” For God is the God of the pagans too.

You may love Christmas trees, or as they’re called among the Politically Correct “holiday trees”. God is a great octopus who reaches his tentacles out and steals the holiday of the pagans, then makes it holy with the One True Holiday. The gift is so great that everyone puts lights on their houses. Everyone is a little happier when I shop at Ralphs. There are more people saying “good morning”, more people buying gifts for people they don’t care for and receiving cards from long alienated family members.

The story of The One coming to the fallen people is everywhere in modern film making, classic lit and pagan societies that even predated The God Bomb. But a God who is above our physical-based time tells His story throughout mankind. It is entirely possible that God came up with the idea of babies because he knew that he would send his son in the form of a baby some day. On another note, I think he also could have invented sex and marriage because he knew that one day Christ would take the church as his bride.

Oh these skeptical times. When a man talks about the simple, ancient Gospel it is considered taboo. If you think I’m unaware of how I sound, I’m not. I am, after all, a member of our culture of poo also. I could say the F word and be championed as a hero of free speech. If I announced that I was homosexual, scores of people would line up to defend my true, good position of honesty. But say the J-word and you might as well take a dump on the dinner table.

My two favorite moments in cinema are from The Christmas Carol and It’s a Wonderful Life. At the end of each movie you have a man running through the streets shouting, “MERRY CHRISTMAS”! This is only appropriate. Oh sure, there’s always the skeptic saying, “Look at that old fool! Scrooge has lost his mind.” Or when George Bailey shouts Merry Christmas to Mr. Potter he responds, “And a Happy New Year to you, too! …In jail!” I love shouting that quote from Mr. Potter because it’s so true. I have no reason to doubt that one day shouting Merry Christmas could very well put one in jail. It does offend the high law of multi-culturalism, and we really must do something about these intolerant outliers, shouting exclusivist, insensitive nonsense that is not unlike using plastic bags when shopping or smoking cigarettes instead of pot. GASP!

None of us have a completely orthodox response to God dropping the Christmas bomb on mankind. It’s tough stuff to chew. Man cannot save himself, so God wraps himself in the skin and culture of a man and does not come as a statesman, celebrity or academic. He comes as a baby. The ultimate being for all time showing up as the ultimate symbol of lowness born in a cave among filthy farm animals. His mother was likely mocked as a whore because, come on, you’re pregnant and didn’t have sex? That’s a good one. The people God called to testify were wise men from the east (aka: a bunch of pagan astrologers) and homeless shepherds whose testimony didn’t even hold up in a court of law. This strange God loves low things. At the very least, it makes for a better story, and God is the world’s best story-teller.

Structurally, we might be tempted to see Adam as the first act, the birth of Christ as Act two and the crucifixion as Act three. But I think of the birth of Christ as the end. The triumph was locked in place at birth. God wins, but so does man. Like any gift, we can’t earn it. It’s a freebie. It calls for shouting in the streets.

Every year at the San Diego Comic Convention, there is a black man with a bull horn preaching the gospel. Given the crowds, there are thousands of people in the streets, and they stand around the preacher to mock him. They come up with the most offensive things they can say about Jesus. These are my fellow comic creators. My sympathies aren’t with the mockers, because I don’t get my values from a culture of poo. My sympathies are with the bull-horn man, George Bailey and Scrooge.

Merry Christmas! (And a Happy New Year to you, too! …In jail!)


23 Responses to “The God Bomb”

  1. Ricardo Fort Says:

    thanks 9/11
    fuck you, doug
    fuck you!

  2. Kenny Scott Says:

    I have been doing a 40 day blog fest through advent.
    Would you mind if I reposted this on my blog?

  3. Paul Says:

    A very nice blog post Doug. Merry Christmas to you!

  4. Austin Says:

    Go on home, Doug, they’re waiting for you!

  5. Pagan Says:

    Christmas would be a very boring holiday if it was 100% Christian:

    No presents, no decorated trees, no egg nog, no mistletoe, not even during winter!

    Merry Saturnalia.

    • tennapel Says:

      Actually, it would be boring and meaningless if it wasn’t Christian. When Crosby sings “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” the snow is made magical because of Christ. It would be stupid to celebrate and get sentimental about snow. Crosby doesn’t have to mention Christ at all for us to understand the magic of his song. Gifts aren’t great on their own; I could give you a dirty used rat-trap as a gift and you’d be right to think something was wrong with me. To celebrate the lights on a tree or on a house is equally stupid. Are colored lights so great that we get teary eyed at lights on a tree? Egg nog is great (with lots of booze, please) because this is the party of the universe. But who has a party where nothing is celebrated?

      In science it’s mistaking correlation with causation. CHrist is not made great because he’s associated with mistletoe, but mistletoe is made great because it is associated with Christ. Everything that touches Christmas is absorbed by the Great Octopus that sanctifies even empty pagan ritual. It’s why atheists give each other gifts with joy but Christians don’t sit around the fire and read David Hume to warm their hearts this season.

      Christmas would be a boring holiday if every symbol wasn’t 100% Christian.

  6. Well, we could refer to the pagan holiday that Christmas replaced. In Russia this is called yuletide. That alone should show the fraudulence of Christmas, Jesus steals old traditions. It’s nothing new, just another step towards our evolution, Christianity is a facade. As it is so, it is only right that every holiday gets celebration at this time. Well, except atheism, because since that’s the scientifically correct belief system, it get’s every day of the year. It also gets James Cameron. . .
    At least that’s what those offended by this blog think. Now, as they read this, they are beginning to label me as an ignorant Christian who has undoubtedly never read Sarte, Hemmingway, Lovecraft, or taken any college-level courses on the origins of the Human Condition. I could never know about other cultures, for surely, I would never own a copy of the Qur’an or any of the teachings of Siddhārtha Gautama.
    But that’s the thing. I have. I follow Jesus, and I ain’t no idiot. (Yes. That was slang.)
    Jesus has become dogma, a stoic statue, an unmoving pile of stone. But he isn’t, Doug’s point isn’t that Christianity should be the only thing celebrated like some sort of totalitarian holidoom, instead it’s saying that Christianity loves all under one Hope, but no one loves Christianity except Christians, or gives it any cred for the goodness it brings… At least that’s my interpretation.

    That being said. . .

    Isn’t it wonderful? I’m going to JAIL!!!

    Good read Doug

  7. Daniel Says:

    Now I want a comic about an all-encompassing octopus.

  8. Merry Christmas Doug!

    I have, and will be with you at Comicon, sympathizing with the black man with the bull horn. There’s a few of us in the comic biz who love Jesus! Hopefully I’ll get a chance to say ‘hi’ to you in person in San Diego this summer.

    God Bless.

  9. syz Says:

    so no matter what, Christmas wins?

  10. Dn. Nate Says:

    Doug, I very much appreciate your point, and enjoy your prose. Keep it up!

    For all skeptics out there, I challenge you to pray a simple prayer in these or similar words: “Jesus, if you exist, if you’re the Son of God who loves me and has an amazing plan for my life, please prove it to me; please give me the gift of faith”

    You won’t regret it…

  11. Doreen Says:

    I liked CatScratch so much, that I named my cat Mr. Blik too! I KNEW you were a GREAT animator, but now I know that you’re also a wonderful human being. I wish I had found this the day you wrote it, because the 21st is my Grandfather’s birthday, and what you said here would have made his 80th birthday even more special! I would have to travel 3000 miles to go to the S.F. ComicCon; but the next time you feel like you’re standing alone in supporting the man with the bullhorn, remember you have someone standing with you on spirit.

  12. Doug,

    Thank you for being bold in your faith. It is sad and depressing to me that it is so rare for artists to be Christians or at least admit that they are. Your artwork and blog are inspiring to me as both an artist and a Christian. It’s people like you who give me more courage to be bold in my faith. Please keep doing what you are doing, bringing the good news to people who need it through your amazing talents of art and interaction.

    God Bless!

    • tennapel Says:

      Tiffany! This is not being bold. This is just a simple admittance of what I think and believe… it’s not radical or unique in any way. When my people are killed for their faith (Christians are the #1 recipient of death sentences for our beliefs today) they’re being bold. I’m just average.

  13. Sergio Says:

    I wish I had read this at Christmas. It was a good read none the less;

    And everything you wrote here is truth. Perceptions of your works that mention religion kind of proves it. I remember months ago when I read reviews about “Black Cherry” before buying this awesome comic.

    It is amazing how sidelined Christianity has become, even in majority Christian countries. To think that a person is PC enough to ditch a good work of fiction merely because it contains religious themes. It is insane. I see so much offensive crap on all medium that doesn’t bother anyone… and yet all it takes for an author to ask for trouble is to throw a priest character around, use faith even as a passing theme in his narrative or mention God with even slight significance. Uncanny how this can turn people off.

    It feels like fiction must necessarily portray a world where Christianity doesn’t exist or exists only as atheist hipsters perceive it. It is madness.

    What cracked me up even more were the vivid complaints about demons being portrayed as gay sometimes. Oh boy… we are talking about the same people that don’t like the Mad Max movies because the villains were all implied to be raving gay madmen. Obviously, they cheer up to any movie that portrays evil Fred Phelps-esque preachers or naive and ignorant persons of faith. PC wimps need to grow a spine. Or at least develop some reasonable standards. Demons portrayed as being “buttbumpers” doesn’t feel wrong at all, don’t see what is the big deal(anyone offended can sue me later).

    Black Cherry was my favorite graphic novel of yours, and that is saying a lot. I look forward for more of your work, specially a new Earthworm Jim game!

    God bless,


  14. furrama Says:

    Christmas isn’t an important holiday, and it is certainly nothing to get worked up over. It could go by uncelebrated by every good little Christian and God wouldn’t care. The everyday celebration of Jesus’ life and death and resurrection is far more important. At this point is a lovely day to get together with family and try to celebrate the birth of our Lord. But let the pagans have it if they want it; after all it was taken from them and religious themes were thrust upon it, not the other way around.

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